Paws Fur Thought.

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A day in the life of the archive dog.

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Hi folks,this is me dumped on the patio area outside the house.I'm told it's good for me with the hot weather but frankly I just can't get excited about sitting on cold concrete paving slabs. Everyone tells me it's for my own good (being covered with thick black dreadlocks) but no-one seems to understand that it's actually pretty cold under all that.I wish more people had heard of insulation.

Where are my manners? Here I am waffling on and we haven't been properly introduced.My name is Poppyland Express At Gerryliz but everyone calls me Emma or Emms for short.I'm a Hungarian Puli qualified for Crufts and have 36 international champions in my pedigree (did someone mention food?).

I don't go to any of those stupid dog shows anymore,though.If you ever want to get out of doing anything like that,might I suggest rolling onto your back as the judge bends over you.That usually slays them.The judge is staring at your nether regions while the audience is killing itself with laughter - never fails!

Anyway,this is supposed to be about a day in my life but that's really rather boring. I suffer from C.D.S. which causes me a lot of problems.That stands for Car Deficiency Syndrome and if I don't get a decent run in a car every day - I'm hell to live with.It's rather like having P.M.T. but much,much worse.They wanted me to see one of those pet shrinks but it would have cost too much so they've opted for just letting me go out everywhere with them.If nothing else,that means we get to "do lunch" which I regard as the best part of the day.

To shut me up - well,I do admit to moaning a bit if I don't get in the car by noon - he once let me sit in the car without going anywhere.I could see his reasoning and figured I might be lumbered with this if I didn't protest in some way.The windows were all open,so I wasn't going to overheat - and I could've jumped out if needed but I came up with a corker;something really special.When he came back,I had shredded both the front seats and reduced them to a pile of bits no bigger than a paw.You should've seen his face.The cat and I still laugh about that.

Talking of food - which we weren't - I'm a bit upset by the background to this page.What are those splodges? I really would have thought he could have done an Andy Warhol style treatment of Pedigree Chum cans.That would have looked really cool!

On these warm summer days,the thing I like best is hanging out the window as I'm being driven along.I can easily manage 50 miles an hour but after that the turbulence around my hair gets unbearable.I try and balance out the rest of my day by finding a quiet spot to lie and daydream.

Daydream about getting e-mail,having pen-pals around the world.Maybe one day,even: